John Bates: Where Did He Come From? Where Will He Go? The Legend of the Pre-Season Cowboys

John Bates (Illuminati, USA): where did he come from? The Canadian Cowboys were short a key offensive presence for the final evening of pre-season action. Like many times in the past, the Cowboys turned to their Rent-A-Forward affiliate (sponsored by Mio Squirt). Situations have come and gone where such Rent-A-Forwards have been shining stars for the Cowboys, but none have been quite as bright as John Bates.

But where will he go? This Rent-A-Forward turned Rent-A-Legend had his time to shine on the Canadian Cowboys - and shine he did. With 4 points in 2 games, Bates had the honor of bringing down the curtain on the 2015/16 Canadian Cowboys pre-season.

However, in all of Bates' glory, some of the Cowboys noticed some peculiar coincidences...

Coincidence #1: His number...

John Bates sports the number 24. This is the 24th time the Canadian Cowboys have used a Rent-A-Forward since their debut season in 2010.

Coincidence #2: His name...

The Canadian Cowboys have been Beta testing several new plays. These new plays were only successful when they involved John Bates: Master of Beta. Master Bates.

Coincidence #3: His departure...

Just as quickly as John Bates became a famed member of the Canadian Cowboys, he made the decision not to return. When asked about his sudden departure on a 4-0 record, Bates declined to speak.

Cowboy Dusty Skater had this to say on the presence and sudden disappearance of Master Bates:

"He's out of his mind. He's such a weird guy. He didn't say much. Hell of a player though. BATES. BAAAATES we kept cheering. Our last game was a triple overtime, and he assisted my game winning goal. His performance was stellar. And when we called him back to play with us again - maybe on a permanent basis, even - well, he didn't even answer the call. We never heard from him again. I don't know. To me, this confirms the illuminati. The coincidences are just too much. Illumaniti: confirmed."

CCTV hoped to interview Bates after his last game with the Cowboys, but as Hendrix approached him to conduct his post-game interview, John Bates disappeared.