EASHL Confirms 2015/16 Cowboy Season: Cowboys Gallop Through Lockout

Eager fans during the EASHL lockout attending an EASHL farm league NHL game.

In a shocking turn of events, the previous contractual mess in which the crowd-favorite Canadian Cowboys found themselves has resolved. The EASHL has confirmed that the lockout experienced by players and fans alike will officially end this fall.

"I just can't believe it" said one adoring fan. "I've missed watching Cowboy hockey so much. I've just been watching vintage Cowboy games on CCTV (subscriptions available to Canadian Cowboy TV through the EASHL website starting at $69.99/year) all season."

Although CCTV brought an incredible revenue for the club during the lockout, it would seem that money is of no concern for the players who are eager to hit the ice with their teammates once again. So what have the Canadian Cowboys been doing during the lockout to keep themselves in shape and prepared for what promises to be a heart-filled, action-packed season? We at realcanadiancowboys.blogspot.com have the answers.

Journalist Andrew Hendrix (Toronto, ON) was able to meet with several of the fan-favorite Canadian Cowboys for exclusive interviews. Hendrix traveled to Burlington, Ontario to meet with Chunkai Bumbai.

Hendrix: So tell me Bumbai; the fans have been so curious about your off-season. Do you think you're ready to lace up with the Cowboys again?

Bumbai: You bet I am. Of course. Salmon. I've been working on my cardio a lot this year; a lot of resistance training. Oh and soup. I ate so much soup. Soup is my Destiny.

Hendrix: Of course. The fans know that your favourite food is soup. But what kind of soup does an all-star right winger such as Chunkai Bumbai prefer?

Bumbai: Well you know. Anything. Any kind of soup. Chicken noodle. Salmon Soup. I like chunky soup. I like soupy soup. Any kind of soup.

Hendrix: [laughs] Hear that kids? Soup seems to be the secret to success. Keep your soup on the ice.

And it is the same soup-like heat that Bumbai plans to bring to the ice during the 2015/16 season.

Hendrix had the pleasure of meeting with the starting center for the Cowboys, Dusty Skater.

Hendrix: Thank you for meeting with me today, Dusty. The fans are really excited to hear what you have to say about the upcom--

Dusty: Did you bring me my Caramel Machiatto? I can't do this interview without my 'BUCKS.

Hendrix: Yes of course. Here you are. So the question we all want to hear answered: what have you done during the off season to prepare yourself for the end of the lockout and the consequent return of the Canadian Cowboys? Do you think the team will be as dynamic and offensively powerful as they were in years past? Or do you think the lack of connection over the lockout will effect them?

Dusty taking one of many face-offs for the Canadian Cowboys.

Dusty: I think we're going to be coming out of the gates firing from every cylinder. I think the boys are really eager to get back out there. And it's not like we haven't been playing in the offseason. We've all been practicing in tournaments and skating most days. Well. I haven't. But that doesn't matter. I don't need to. 

And it would seem that Dusty was not kidding. Upon further investigation, it would seem that the legendary Dusty Skater (Burlington, ON) has taken to the ice less than a dozen times in the off-season. However, one notable appearance by Dusty was a competitive game of 1 on 1 with his starting defenseman Jacques Bonjour (Montreal, QC). We interviewed Bonjour about this and his prep for the upcoming season...

Hendrix: Hello, Bonjour. 

Jacques: Why you say hello two times? I am here. Bonjour, mon ami.

Hendrix:...yes, well the fans are all wondering: how has an all-star defenseman such as yourself managed to stay out of the public eye for the entire duration of the offseason? Many fans are speculating that your training has been so intense as to preclude you from making any public appearances.

Jacques leveling an opponent during the off-season.

Jacques: Yes Mr. Hendrix. Well I will tell to you that I have been doing a lot of practicing on my English words. I have been making to try to make people to know what I am trying to say when I say the words in the language of English, do you know? I think my English has become even more good than some of the other team members on the team that I am on. Je prefere francais, absolutement...mais, j'adore l'anglais aussi. But many of the people who yell at the Cowboy games like to yell in the English so I must know the English to know what they are yell. I also do the gym to make my legs ready for the skating.

It would seem that future interviews with Jacques Bonjour may be more accessible to the English speaking fanbase. From Montreal, Mr. Hendrix took a flight to the other end of the country to speak with the goon-turned-sniper, Stinky Mits.

Hendrix: Thank you so much for having me in your home, Mr. Mits.

Stinky: Ah no problem at all, but call me stiinky.

Hendrix: Of course, stinky. So please tell us what the offseason has held in store for Stinkbreath. It seemed that the end of the 2013/14 season was on the upswing for you offensively. At one time you were considered the fighter of the Cowboys but in the dying light of the previous season you seemed to be a much more valuable offensive presence.

Stinky: Ah yeah, haha, I do like to snipe pretty hard and dangle. I'm not Benyanthekenyan, but I do like to dangle and snipe. WES SHUT UP.

Hendrix: That's a cute dog. Where did you come up with the name Wes?

Stinky: My wifey wanted to name our dog Wes, and Stinkymits doesn't like to argue. Unless I'm on the ice. I'm going to ruin a couple of lives this season. I can't wait to drop the mits.

It would seem that Stinky Mits has done very little off-season preparation and his offensive skills may suffer thusly. However, the Canadian Cowboys have always done well with the aggressive power of Stinky Mits on the wing.

With that, our journalist here at blogspot.com made his way back to Burlington, Ontario to speak with Bonjour's defensive partner Bean Squeeze.

Hendrix: A close personal friend of blogspot, Bean Squeeze; it's always a pleasure having the opportunity to interview you.

Bean: Being interviewed by blogspot is always great. It gets me more excited for the season than a big Christmas ham.

Hendrix: So what have you been doing to prepare for the upcoming EASHL season? Do you think you're ready to hit the ice with the same intensity as year's passed?

Bean: Oh Sally Struthers you bet I am. I know the guys are all really eager to get back out there and that makes me feel Super Slammy. Go Hawks, though. 

Surrounded by bottles of wine and gin, Bean seemed more ready than ever to skate.

Finally, Mr. Hendrix journeyed to the desolate wastelands of Georgetown, Ontario to meet with the fan-favorite, lover-boy, dazzling smile, lady-charming Captain of your Canadian Cowboys, Michael the Magic. And in one word, that's exactly what this interview was. Magic.

Michael: Hey man! Thanks so much for meeting with me [teeth gleaming in the fluorescent light of camera 2].

Hendrix: This is truly a pleasure to be in the company of such a legendary EASHL player. You truly are a legend. I'm a huge fan, myself. I've watched you carry the Cowboys on those...broad shoulders...time and again. And there I am in my living room, night after night with my beer and my bottle of jergens, cheering - no, screaming - louder than the night before. I think it's really amazing, the team you've brought together here.

Michael the Magic celebrating after his 1000th career goal.

Michael: oh wow thanks! Yeah it's a really good group of guys th--

Hendrix: And the way you carry the puck into the zone. To be that puck..

Michael: ...Yeah for sure. Well I think we're going to be stronger than ever this year. Some people say that the time off might effect the boys adversely but I think just the opposite. I think that the time off has really allowed us to freshen up our skills, and sharpen our skates to a perfect point. Our opponents should watch out for the Cowboys this year. Because we're going to be coming. Hard.

Hendrix: Say that again.

[content unavailable].

So there you have it. The Canadian Cowboys are back. The iconic logo has been rehung on every Canadian street and in the windows of many fans' bedrooms. And with the return of the logo comes the return of your favorite EASHL team. Regular season play is scheduled to commence on September 9th, 2015 according to the rules stipulating the contractual agreement between the EASHLPA and the league. Welcome back boys. This is who we are.